I am over everything today. There are some times that I wish I could just grab a stuffed animal and curl up in a ball and just forget that I’m a grown up.
I’m actually on my computer for a change so I can write a decent post. I never realized how hard moving could be. I found out yesterday that the place we are getting is not going to be fully ready to move into until next Wednesday. Which would not be a big deal other than the fact that it is also the day my son starts his first day of kindergarten. I haven’t even gotten him enrolled yet because I don’t know where for sure we will be living. We are supposed to get this place, but some unexpected fees have come to our attention, so I don’t know if they are going to approve it for sure. And we are moving to the complete opposite side of town, so I can’t just go ahead and enroll him until I know for sure where we are living. If we move he will go to one school, and if we don’t he goes to a completely different one.
So I call my sister who is living in the same area as where we are trying to move and she says that my son and I can stay at her house Tuesday night and get up and get my son off to school Wednesday morning if we for sure get the place. And then her girlfriend informs me that the school buses may no longer be running for this school year. There was a voting on it last spring and it was voted against continuing school buses. So even if we do get this place I will have to find some way of getting my son to school if the buses don’t run. And I should mention that I don’t drive. I have a permit and have the ability to drive physically. I just have never gotten my license and lately I get anxiety attacks behind the wheel.
I am also trying to figure things out with my son, because I recently found out he has some signs of having Asperger’s, which for those that don’t know, is a form of autism. So he has to go to a specialist once a week to see if he really has that or if he has something called gifted and talented. I’m worried about him starting school and being completely bored. He has to start school a year late because his birthday was too late in the year to start him last year. He already knows more than most kids his age group if he would have started on time. He was more than ready to start last year, but the stupid birthday stopping points got in the way. He speaks like an adult, he will be 6 next month but to see him and hear him talk you would think he was much older. I worry about whether or not he will concentrate on things. He also has other symptoms that go along with it.
This is something that I have wondered about for a while. Not Aspergers per say, but that there was something off about him. And it is something I have worried about alone. His father is not reliable at all and prefers I not talk about this with him, because he “doesn’t want to hear that shit” as he puts it. And M, well M and I are not seeing eye to eye on a lot of things. And I really don’t have any friends to discuss things with because as those of you that have read for a while know, I don’t choose the best kinds of people to be friends with.
I recently had someone comment on one of my past blogs about not understanding fighting in M/s or D/s relationships. And to touch on that subject, I’m sure for a lot of you out there you don’t really argue. But, and maybe it is just me and I am a bad slave, but if you have given me ample reason to not trust that you know best, especially when it pertains to my son or living situation, then I am not going to follow what you say just because you think that I should. And that is why there are arguments for me. I don’t really trust him with the big decisions and I know that there are people that think you shouldn’t bash your Master/Dom/whatever he/she may be, but I feel like I’m going to scream if I can’t get things off my chest.
I am just beyond frustrated with everything right now. I just want to move, get my son in the school he needs to be in, get my little pug and be able to get my life moving out of this stagnant area it is in right now. And hopefully be able to find myself somewhere in the mix. Or I fear I amy end up having a nervous breakdown.
Sorry this was so long, but I needed to get everything out to an unbiased avenue. I’m hoping I can actually post more after the move because I will be closer to internet access. Until then, hope everyone has great times ahead.